No Sleep Tonight

I can't sleep.  Since I started running, that barely ever happens anymore, but here the fuck I am, wide awake.  And I can't sleep in tomorrow (today?) either, because I have a 7-mile run that I need to do before the sun comes up and kicks my ass.

Our neighbors had a crawfish boil yesterday - they do at least one a year - and it was fun, but I'm now completely stuffed.  Between that and the not sleeping thing, I'm fully expecting my 7-miler to suck. 

We're not really doing anything glam this weekend.  I'm just happy to have the extra day off work, frankly.  We went and saw the new Spiderman yesterday, and weren't all that blown away by it.  It was ok.  On Monday, we'll go see the new Pirates of the Caribbean.  It's a tradition of ours to go see a movie on holidays, partly because what the fuck else is there to do? 

I mentioned briefly, several entries ago, that S didn't test into his school's Gifted and Talented Program.  This shocked the living crap out of me.  I realize every mother thinks her child is The Most Brilliant Ever, but not every mother has a 7-year old who's reading on a middle-school level with full comprehension, or who can give you driving directions to literally almost any city in the US off the top of his head, so I'm pretty sure that thinking S is a genius-child isn't just me being a mother.  The letter that I got telling me that he didn't test in didn't include his results, so I made an appointment with the Gifted and Talented specialist to find out more.  When I told The Ex this, his response (accompanied by what I'm sure he thought was a gentle and compassionate manner) was thus:

"Now, if he turns out not to be gifted, are you going to be ok with that?"

This annoyed me on so many levels, I didn't know which one to start with.  First of all, it implied that he had never actually MET our son.  S is who he is, and a set of test results doesn't magically change the molecular structure of his brain cells.  It also implied that I was out to make S something that he wasn't...like I was going to try and strong-arm him into the Gifted and Talented program when he didn't actually belong there, just so that I could have some kind of bragging rights as the mother of this designer-brand child.  Barf.

All that aside, though, it's none of The Ex's damned business what I am and am not emotionally ok with, and I find it very invasive and squicky when he tries to go there, which happens way more often than it should.  God knows he didn't lose any sleep over how I was coping with things when we were married.  Why start now?

So I made the appointment with the specialist.  She was actually quite glad to see me, because apparently she'd really like to put the test results in the notification letters, but for reasons known only to themselves, the Board won't let her.  It annoys the crap out of her, so she's always glad when a parent comes looking for more info.  She showed me the test that they use, and told me his results and what they meant.  Basically, S tested right on the razor's edge of borderline.  When I actually looked at the test questions, I was kind of surprised that he scored as high as he did.  Maybe that sounds awful, but I know S's strengths and weaknesses, and the test couldn't have been more geared toward his weaker points if it had been custom-made.  It required a lot of abstract problem-solving, and S is very much the practical, point-A-to-point-B kind of thinker.  He just doesn't do as well with the more nebulous stuff.  So in a way, he's actually even more brilliant than I thought he was.

The specialist and I had a brief discussion about him, some of his characteristics, interests and abilities, and she basically told me that he probably does belong in her classes, and that he'll be retested in a year.  In the meantime, I probably don't have to worry too much about him getting bored with school (which was my main concern with him not meeting the test criteria for Gifted and Talented), partly because it's early on yet and partly because he does have a wonderful teacher who knows where he'll need extra stimulus.  He's in a multi-age class, which includes both first and second grade, so he'll have the same teacher next year, which is great because she already understands him.  So the specialist was able to address my concerns, and I left our meeting more or less satisfied.

A couple of days ago, Mr. Will-You-Be-Ok-With-It-If-S-Turns-Out-Not-To-Be-Gifted informed me that he wanted to have S privately retested during the summer.  Apparently he knows someone who does this for a living, and she's willing to give him "a very big discount."  It would still cost The Ex several hundred dollars, but supposedly the full price would normally be a couple of thousand(!), even though I was told by the school specialist that to have that exact same thing done would cost - quite coincidentally - several hundred dollars.  Whatever.  Technically I can't stop him if he does it during his time with S, and I have better things to do than fight him on it anyway, but I think it's over the top and unnecessary and I told him so.  The discussion pretty much ended with me telling The Ex that I really don't think it matters that much one way or another whether S waits until next spring to be retested, but that if The Ex insists on having it done he'd better make sure that whatever test it is will be one that they'll accept as a qualifier for the program, or he'll just be wasting S's summer vacation time and his money.  He responded that this was a really good idea (since apparently he had not considered whether or not dropping said money and putting S through the whole testing process again would serve any actual purpose), and he'd call the specialist the next day. 

Whether he did that or not, I don't know.

Comments

[Claude]

The other issue with re-testing so soon is that, if the second time around winds up being the same testing instrument (e.g. if the Cognitive assessment is the WISC-IV both times) then the scores are invalid on the second try, because the child has seen the test so recently that he could simply be remembering the last time around. So, if nothing else, care should be taken to ensure that the tests themselves aren't duplicated.

In the meantime, let him just enjoy being a kid. Youngsters get so little opportunity to do this.

[Finn]

I attempted to leave a comment when you posted about this before, but it didn't take and I never made it back! Anyway, I was tested (and retested) for the gifted program when I was in school and I barely missed qualifying as well. For me it was due to the way they tested (verbal, and I was painfully shy as a kid), plus one test they did at the end where you are supposed to recreate certain patterns with blocks -- the guy was watching over my shoulder the entire time and I still cannot concentrate that way!

My point was that the tests don't really mean that he's NOT gifted and as long as he's engaged and not bored, he'll do fine. He's probably doing just as well in the multi-age classroom (my brother did that back in the day and he thrived with it -- he was placed in gifted later).

[leslie]

I hope your son gets in! I was in all those T&G classes when I was in school and I don't remember having to take crazy hard tests to get in. They must be pretty strict these days. But even if he doesn't get in, I am sure he will flourish!
Good luck with your run. 7 MILES!!! That's so impressive

[Tori]

Hello! Michele sent me :)
Glad to have found your blog.
It is very entertaining.

[Jean-Luc Picard]

S needs encouragement. Gifted children get bored easily.

[sophie]

It certainly sounds like he will get what he needs from his teacher (how wonderful is that?) no matter where he ends up. Good for you for looking into things more fully. Only you know for sure what is best for your son. Sounds like you are making great choices.

Michele says hello.

[Em]

I hope S continues to be successful no matter what the tests reveal! And good luck on your run.

[Bernie]

I hope that S is a confident, and happy thing and excells with the school work.
Oh, and I hope that you get some sleep and not cark it during the 7 mile run!!
Here from MIchele's...
Bernie