Ring My Bell

Fucking FedEx.

I came home yesterday evening to find a notice that they tried to deliver a package to me.  It's something I've been wanting and expecting, so I was pretty damned thrilled that I had already planned on working from home today so I'd be here when they came by again with it.  Also, FedEx will try 3 times to deliver a package before you have to haul your ass over to them and pick it up yourself.  Which, if I had time to do that, I wouldn't be having it shipped in the first place.

So I waited.

And I waited.

And I fucking WAITED.  I didn't go to lunch.  I didn't leave the house at all.

At 10 minutes until 6 they still hadn't come by, so I called FedEx to find out how late they delivered.  Apparently, it can be as late as 7pm.  Which was fine, except that the CSR checked on my package and told me that the FedEx guy on our route had made a notation at 5:30pm of another failed attempt.

Excuse me?! 

No.  I was WATCHING for his ass.  I have a doorbell that works and two dogs that bark their heads off if someone gets out of a car 3 houses down.  There was NO DELIVERY ATTEMPT. 

So yeah.  The goddamned FedEx driver LIED about trying to deliver my package so that he could get home 2 minutes earlier than he would have been able to had he been, say, doing his fucking job.

So now I'm going to wind up having to go pick it up myself, because there's a pretty good chance that I won't be here tomorrow if he actually does find time in between picking lint out of his belly button and braiding his back hair to bring me my package.

I might not be quite so irate if my work life hadn't become exponentially harder since we switched from using UPS, who generally tends to get things where they're supposed to when they say they're going to, to FedEx, who thinks that "Priority Overnight" (which can cost obscene amounts) translates to "we hope you can be bothered to bring it by sometime in the next week or so when you're not doing REALLY important stuff.  Like toenail clipping and/or hookers."

I hate FedEx.  HAAAATE.

Comments

[Carmi]

Dishonesty from the courier guy: not a good thing. I wish I had a super-GPS administrative console that would allow me to view the timestamped tracks of all FedEx (or whatever) delivery folks in my area. Then I could prove the BS-spewing dispatchers wrong when they "claim" that so-and-so tried to reach me at home.

My eye!

Gaa...yet another example of the world's increasingly tenuous hold on anything remotely resembling customer service.